Famous/Not-so-famous Cube Quotes

By Shotaro Makisumi, 2005. Don't say these things to a speedcuber. He will not be pleased.

I've been cubing for 4 years, and I know how people react when they see me cubing. Most people (95+%) say one of what I call the "famous cube quotes," listed below. After each quote is my typical response and what I'm really thinking. Some commentaries may sound mean, but rest assured that they're reasonable after getting 500+ of these remarks. It's the life of the cuber.

Famous Cube Quotes (Boring Remarks)

"It would take me forever to solve one of those."
"..." (Yeah, I know.)

"I used to peel the stickers off and stick them on the right way."
"..." (Isn't anyone smart enough to think of taking the cube apart instead of ruining the stickers?!)

"You're a genius."
"I get that a lot." (Why do you care if I'm smart?)

"Are you smart?"
"I do OK in math..." (I'm tired of this...)

"How long did it take you to learn how to solve it?"
"About a year to learn the advanced method I use." (How long will it take this guy?)

"(Does one or two moves and solves) Look I did it!"
"...(smiling)" (OK, I know you can't do it... You don't have to brag...)

"That's craaaaaazy!"
"I get that a lot." (not as bad as what some other guys say...)

"Oh, [explitive]!"
"I get that a lot." (OK, relax, no cussing...)

"..." (let's do one more)

"No way!!"
"..." (yes way)

"I use to take it apart and put it back"
"...cool." (very typical)

"I would smash it against the floor"
"It's actually a very good excercise. lol" (...)

"He's not even looking!"
"..." (Oh, yes I am... BLD is something different...)

"You cheated!"
"...(ignore)" (No, I didn't.)

"Is there a pattern to it?"
"Uh-huh. A lot." (...)

"Did you memorize all the patterns?"
"no" (like anyone could memorize quintillions of patterns...)

"I can solve one face!"
"..." (so? It's not exactly rocket science.)

"My best time was 3 (or some other number) hours"
    "..." (don't you mean never?)

"Can I mess it up and you solve it?"
    "Yeah, sure." (Finally, someone actually want to see it again...)

"..." (another starer...)

"Can you teach me how to solve it?"
    "If you bring a cube with you." (it'll take a long time though...)

"That is sick!"
    "Thanks." (It is sick!)

"Can you show me the little thing you do that you do?"
"...You mean solve the cube?" (again? I showed this guy 10 min ago!)

"How do you do that thing?"
    "Learn methods." (how else? get lucky? lol)

"What's your record?"
"Lucky or non-lucky? Single or average?" (this is fun)
"Like... what do you mean... just your fastest time...I mean..."

"What's the fastest time anyone's ever solved it?"
"0 sec if lucky and about 8 sec if not lucky." (that's all i can say)
"What, really?"

"What's the world record?"
"Then you beat it! Why dont' you have the record"
"..."(It's unofficial, remember?!)

"I hate those things."
"Yeah they're pretty tough..." (What did they ever do to you?)
Quote and Answer contributed by cjhasbrouck

"Were you that guy on TechTV?"
"Nope." (Do I look anything like him?!)
Quote and Answer contributed by cjhasbrouck

"Have you ever solved that?"
"Yeah, once or twice..." (...)
Quote and Answer contributed by Daniel Hayes.

"Can you solve it every time?"
"Yeah." (Duh!!)
Quote contributed by barefoot Chris

"I bet you can't solve it from here"
Quote contributed by barefoot Chris

"Wow... thats the cubik's rube thingy.... how do you solve it?"
"uh...." (magic u idiot)
Quote and Answer contributed by cubekid.

"Do you have your 4 one?"
"My 4x4x4?"
"No, the one with 4 on a face"
"...we call that a 2x2x2."

And the list goes on and on.

A Better List

I love hearing original comments, though.

  • "You know, wouldn't it be funny if you mesmorize the cube? The cube starts sleeping and everything..."
  • "Don't make me cubenap your cube and dismantle it and send it to the four corners of the world!"
  • "You must really have X-ray vision..." (after a blindfolded solve)
  • "Dude, he must be melting the cube at that speed!"
  • "What is that, a midget cube?" (when seeing a 2x2 for the first time)
  • "Why do you ever leave your room?"

Why indeed.